Landscape for 

 Friendships

           by Malcolm Rae

   

               

Copyright © 2012 by Malcolm Rae

Any part, or whole, of this publication may be reproduced, providing credit is given to the authour.

Printed in Canada.

Email: malspaint@gmail.com

Website: Google +: Malcolm Rae

Canadian Catalogue in publication data:

Main entry under: Landscape for Friendships

Rae, Malcolm.

Includes bibliographical references.

           

ISBN: 978-0-9735447-6-3

     Imagine being in an environment where "you" cannot be "you." That environment happened to me. I did not choose it. I was born into it. I grew up in confinement, without a television, a computer, mainstream music or being allowed to participate in competitive sports. I grew up in a family of thirteen, where my dad would read the Bible after every meal. Every Sunday, I would have to wear Sunday clothes. Every Sunday, I would have to attend a church where there was a lot of older people and nobody my age, and nobody with my interests. Every Sunday I would have to listen to hymns written before my time. Every Sunday I would have to hear preachers speak on what I already knew, this being the gospel message. I had to sit still and listen attentively to what was already obvious to me. No wonder I felt shy¹. No wonder I did not talk much. I had to live in this highly formal environment of people who did not work much with their own hands, because they were mostly retired or they had very well-paying jobs.

     The kids at the schools I attended were not like me. They knew about mainstream music. They knew more about the Vancouver Canucks. They were accepted in their circles of friends because they could share commonly about popular news and events. Their families celebrated Christmas, whereas my parents stopped celebrating Christmas because it was "pagan." Unable to talk about much in common with my schoolmates, I felt somewhat outside their circles.

     Most of the people at my church seemed to dislike sports. Everything that has to do with a man being a man, they seemed to be against. Sports, weight training, strength, courage, fearlessness, industriousness, hard labour and natural affection² were not seen as really pious. If you worked as a labourer, you were lowly. Athleticism was not valued. So, being a labourer and an athletic guy, I was not truly valued. Instead, I was superficially valued.

     I wanted to play competitive hockey. My parents did not want me to play competitive hockey. My home environment and my church environment were not positively supporting environments. Consequently, I struggled to be myself.

     Happily, interaction, dialogue and writing were skills I was able to work on in University. These skills, combined with life skills through athletic experience and working hard as a labourer, mostly as an independent painter and operating my business, helped me to become my own person. I learned the value of self-examination. I published three books that involved a lot of self-reflecting. I learned the value of natural affection.

     Rules without natural affection mean nothing. The tools of destructive control include aloofness, force, incompetence and excessive restriction. These tools are used by religions, governments, families and other social environments, such as exclusive gatherings or schools.

     The pseudo-church is a political environment where those who hope for natural affection are not only disappointed, but threatened by soft-handed, pushy, non-industrious and inexperienced leaders who seek to impose their unnatural wills on whoever they can. No longer a place of ministry, it has become a political place for non-examining, misled, people, who conform to convenient ways. In short, rather than ministry, what is apparent is a kind of business machinery at work, operated by corrupt and polluting operators, highly supportive of non-calculating clients.

     Once church members did not selfishly consider their possessions, but now materialism has become celebrated. Where leaders were humble and lowly, they have become superficial, non-industrious, non-labouring and without identifying care for their neighbours. The inadequacy, tension, emphatic oratory and charisma of the pseudo-church leave morally conscious people with a dilemma. Neglect so-called "fellowship" or make friends with altogether different people, who are more understanding. The landscape for people of understanding, natural affection and common values must become truly available.

     In order to flourish like a food-bearing plant, your environment must be fit. There is thinking that suggests that if you are not happy, healthy and rich, the fault is your own. This thinking is wrong. Sometimes conditions are such that you do not have much control. A storm, a broken down car, deprivation, abuse, injury, an act of God, a lack of structure, unfavourable circumstances, poor health, an accident, bullies, thieves, detached-people influences, wayward-people influences, faithless-people influences, are conditions that happen. To be successful, the conditions for that success must somehow be found. The unformed potential must be seen. For example, energetic kids can be seen as gifted and full of athletic potential, rather than as rambunctious or a nuisance. Being is not neutral. Neglect to properly address things results in unhappiness and inhibition. Happiness partly comes from structure. Courage can lead to freedom, and freedom to happiness (Thucydides). The preventative factors of structure and produce must be recognized and, if possible, corrected.

     Different places and conditions of landscape impact productivity and growth. The ground that you are in might be wayward to devouring animals. The ground that you are in might be full of weeds that choke out your life. Some people have stony hearts. According to Matthew 13:18-20, the conditions of environment impact the word of the kingdom. You could be withered by the sun, if you have no depth of earth and room for root - but it is also tough for a plant to grow if it lacks light. The open light of God nurtures growth. The closed hearts of men shut light out. The good ground belongs to honest hearts. God looks on the heart, not outward appearance.

     The present-day conditions for positive dialogue and interaction are lacking. Ideally, perhaps people would not write at all, preferring to communicate and interact entirely in person. That is more personal and inclusive. That is an original method of interaction and peaceful talk on Canadian landscape used by aboriginals. Your word, possibly over a meal and a participation of sorts - walking, a journey, a custom, a wampum belt presentation or something, was a naturally structured method of agreement. 

     Happiness partly comes from structure and natural affection. Of all the earthly things that mess people up, lacking natural structure is perhaps the greatest. An unstructured life inevitably leads to pressure, unwanted manipulation, anxiety and excessive stress. In the absence of charitable action, a life can be influenced by controlling persons, substance abuse, penalties and unrewarding work.

     Great strength can come from within. According to Christ, “…the kingdom of God is within you.” Rule yourself, rule your world. But for that to happen, much self-examination and organization must take place.

     Great leaders have spent notable periods alone, and they were able to identify with common people. Moses spent many years in the wilderness. Christ was in the wilderness without food for forty days. Paul was alone in prison. Moses was known for his meekness. The common people heard Christ gladly (Mark 12:37). If Paul was asked what he did for a living, he could say he was a tentmaker. A leader must be a servant, with consideration for his land.

     The two greatest commandments involve a labour of self-examination that seems to have been forgotten. Loving God with our whole being involves self-examination (let us ask: what is our whole being)? The second greatest commandment (loving your neighbour) involves self-examination "...as yourself." The lowly will be blessed. Truth is bigger than any one individual or elite group. It is arrogant, rude and unfriendly to suggest otherwise. 

     There needs to be a practical and natural landscape for friendships where ministry can come from friends, rather than from just paid councilors, politicians or pastors. I would like to see a non-formal environment where people are not forced into something they are not, a landscape where people are treated as friends and not as clients or thoughtless citizens. What is needed is an all-in-one, part recreational, part coffee-type house, part-artistic, place that is consistently open, where regular people are allowed to exercise, participate, play, interact, compete, eat, converse and be themselves.

¹ I believe a lot of the shyness I experienced was largely due to being pressed into something I was not. Contrarily, my parents, being athletic, did not encourage me to play in league sports.

² "Natural affection" means affection that comes naturally, in a free, humane and charitable manner, rather than forced or imposed interaction and unnatural control that cares little, if at all, for the uniqueness and dignity of every person (in other words, all humanity or humankind).

http://www.youtube.com/user/malcolmrae77/videos

Pro Life: (I wrote this research essay awhile ago. Of course, if a woman's life is seriously at risk by a growing conceptus or she is raped, I believe she should have the "right to choose"... but a number of abortions may happen needlessly).

http://web.viu.ca/clemotteo/Pandora/Ethics%20230/pro_life_Malcolm_Rae.htm

*Update (new link): https://prolifeandchoicetoo.blogspot.com/